I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My vagina just clenched in fear
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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