And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Everyone says I win the strip club
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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