Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
