Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
