i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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