Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
