my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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