No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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