I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
