i just google imaged poop.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
