You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
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I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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