In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
