i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
