he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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