I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
