just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
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I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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