He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
