She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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