When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
