Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
