xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
