I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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