other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
