everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
