so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
