thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
bring money and cleavage
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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