Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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