you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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