Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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