I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
