So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
