Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
