So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
