They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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