So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.