Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.