Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.