i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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