So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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