Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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