i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
