everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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