Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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