I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
