Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
