Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
