just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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