We won't sleep together?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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