Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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