my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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