dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
