Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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