Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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