Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
