I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
