i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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